The joy of the Lord is my strength!

"The Joy of the Lord is my strength" 

Before Gustav hit my heart was filled with grief and I found myself weeping and crying out for mercy upon Bay Saint Louis. I listened to the community's aching worries and plans on never returning if another Katrina hit, as people are still recovering. Two days before the storm my devotions were both about God answering the cries of the people and God answering their prayers with Moses freeing the enslaved Israelites and with Saul being anointed as king. All throughout scripture God shows Himself through the answers of the people's prayers, thank you God!

 God brought me back three years ago when I prayed and fasted and pleaded for my best friend at the time to be healed, in the end he wasn't and he is not with us today. To say the least, this through me into a whirl wind of grief and pain unable to put into words. This experience unfortunately tainted my view of prayer and I struggled with trying to understand the will of God and I know now how useless it would be to continue this exhausting quest. I look at the people in the community of BSL and am in awe to see the strength of the Lord's joy and hope they possess as they continue to re-build their homes and lives back. Nola Kingston is one of my hero's, all three of her son's died and her daughter is very sick, she continues to be positive and relies on God's strength. She says that she is suffering with Jesus, this is an example of counting the cost of the cross. God thank you for hearing our prayers and answering them and continue to teach me how to just keep walking when grief comes my way. "The joy of the Lord is my strength"! 

Dancing in the rain!

Di Fillhart has this wonderful shirt that says, "Why wait for the storm to pass when you can dance in the rain?" This is a fantastic shirt, so this is random but I was thinking about how God has been showing me more and more of my depraved, wretched self and the closer I feel I'm getting to God the more wretched and depraved I realize I am. Anyway, the "stuff "He is showing me is how much I live in my past wounds, how much fear I possess to leave, and my stubborn will to stay in disbelief in order for me not to make a choice for change. We better be willing to change when God shows us because, God calls us to "take up our cross and follow Him". I have one choice to make because the good and faithful Lord cares for me so much and He longs for me to be willing, so He has to smack us across the head by a four-by-four and take us through the storm so later we can dance in the rain.:) There's the tie in with the shirt! 

One of my favorite examples of God wanting to see us healed is the example of the lepor who, "fell with his face to the ground and begged him, "Lord if you are willing, you can make me clean." and Jesus responded, saying "I'm willing". So many times when I pray I ask the Lord, "are you willing to make me clean?" heal me? change me? are you willing? In response I believe Jesus is asking me the very question, "are you willing to go back to your pain and hurts in order for me to heal you? Are you willing to go through the storm with me so later we can dance in the rain? Are you willing to trust me with no hesitation or unbelief, in other words are you willing to count the cost of the cross? I long to be in utter abandonment that lasts longer than a few hours and yes Lord I am willing, just as long as we later get to dance in the rain. Thank you Lord for your never-ending, unfailing love!